Complaining makes us feel good. That why so many of us do it so often. We tend to forget the price of that short-term relief. Let’s be clear, complaining is simply a waste of our time.
Firstly, it brings negativity to the moment. Our time on this earth is precious, and spending it complaining might not be creating the life we want. Secondly, as we really complain to ourselves, we spread negativity to other.
“Toxic people spread negativity. Don’t invite them into your head”
That’s not it, there is more to complaining! Thirdly, it puts us in a powerless position. When we complain, we do not own the part we can change, no matter how small or big that part it. Complaining is behaving like a victim. Fourthly, it is also a lack of perspective! A different view of the subject of the complaint is available to you. Initially, it may be hard to see, but it might not be that far either. Asking yourself that question might help: “How would it look like if it was different?”.
“The less you respond to negativity, the more peaceful your life becomes”
One way to reduce complaining, and increase our happiness is simply practising gratitude. An important fact to note is that being in a state of gratitude prevents us from being in any of negative states such as anger or fear. Gratitude isn’t a new subject on my blog, I have multiple posts on gratitude, just to name a few: Stories of Gratitude. Which one is yours? OR Part 2: The Power of Gratitude OR 3 Keys (and a BONUS) for a Thriving Relationship.
Here are some simple ways for you to practise gratitude on a daily basis:
- Soon after waking up, write down three to ten items of gratitude
- Before you go to bed, the same. Write down or share with your partner three to ten items of gratitude
- Set a regular or random alarm on your phone, when it rings, stop for a minute and write down three items of gratitude
Feeling gratitude can be for small things, that’s okay. The item doesn’t matter. What matter is being in the right state and meaning it. You can be grateful for the abundance of food we have, for your heart to beat, for your partner to love you and keep choosing you, for the praise your colleague gave you at work last week or for life as it made you, you (and you’re awesome!).
Practising gratitude can be powerful to reinforce your self-esteem too. I struggle to accept my body as it is not as perfect as my mind wants it to be. So for months, one item of gratitude I was writing down every day was about a part of my body. I made sure to express why I was grateful too. Slowly it helped me to accept my body more than I ever did.
Thank you for your time and reading my post.
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