Differences are one of the most challenging aspects of being in relationships. At some point, the disillusion hits us. We start to see the flaws of our partners. While not all differences are perceived as flaws, they often are. Some of these flaws can be practical, like leaving a towel on the floor after a shower. It could be more personal, like the sound of their voice when they are tired. It could be about what they want; they might just not be as driven as we are with their career.

The perfect being we fell in love with, is a flawed being like we are. For many of us, it is a deception. We run from relationship to relationship with the hope to find “The One“. We have high expectations, our partners need to fulfil our emotional, spiritual, sexual or financial needs, but we still hope for The One. It’s a lot of pressure for one person. We used to have a tribe or a village to meet all these needs not that long ago.


Powerful questions create powerful life circumstances (see my article about Good Questions to ask Yourself). So let’s ask ourselves one of these questions. What if we could learn how to LOVE these flaws and differences? What if that the key to the next level of our relationship?

I’ve been fascinated by considering that for months. Then in some cases, I could slowly start to make it a reality. I learned how to go beyond my initial displeasing, and learning how to be accepting. Even further, learned to enjoy what was not; not that long ago. While it is an exciting perspective, it isn’t an easy one and the road is still a long way ahead.

Here are some questions to help with to start that process:

  • How do you think that you could start to love your partner MORE for what you currently dislike in them? Imagine if your partner would be able to do that with you, how would that make you feel?
  • Can you start to accept that your differences might be the gems you needed to really love your partner for who they are? Again, would you like to be loved for who you truly are?
  • Lastly, can you open your heart to their differences, as they are what makes them unique and different?

Today, you can start to turn differences or flaws, into richnesses. Into small gems of acceptance and unconditional love. It will change the outlook on your partner, and bring liveness to your relationship!


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