Love is tough sometimes. It is tough, but it worth it.
If you have been in a relationship, you know that at times, we feel it isn’t worth it anymore. We could find someone that will suit us better. We think that another partner won’t be so grumpy, and mad at us like our partner was a few hours ago. After all, love should just flow naturally, if it doesn’t then something must be wrong!
Some of us run away in such situations, some of us say for days, months or years. Sometimes it passes, sometimes it doesn’t.
Something we have to learn to accept is that the feeling is Love isn’t meant to be there at all time. Therefore it is okay when it is not. Not feeling it for two days or even two weeks, doesn’t mean we do not love the person anymore. In some cases, it may be, be more often than not, it is just that we have a hard time with ourselves. When we aren’t loving ourselves, how could we love someone else?
Beyond ourselves, Love is choice. It is a verb before being a feeling. You can love someone with no feeling. You can feel love for someone and do not do any loving actions to act on it.
If we practise Love the verb then we might create the feeling. So if we chose to Love, then we can be in Love again. It is at times harder than it is to say it, but it works. Ask yourself these questions:
- When you have felt the MOST in love in your life, how were the interactions between you and your partner? How many daily (loving) actions will you do for them? How often would you surprise them? How often would you laugh together?
- When you have felt the LESS in love in your, how were the interactions between you and your partner? How many daily (loving) actions will you do for them? How often would you surprise them? How often would you laugh together?
The pattern is obvious at this point. Most of us stop being in love because we do not practise it anymore. We created some comfort and routines, but we forgot to live love. We forgot to be spontaneous, to surprise, and every day, to keep doing loving actions.
“When Love Is Tough… Make a Choice!”
If you know your partner is worth it, you know their soul, and that is the person you want in your life, then LOVE them. Start with the verb, and take loving actions, every single day.
- Make your Lover first, be the first attention you have in the morning when you wake up, instead of checking your phone
- Invite them for a surprise date night, doing something you both like
- Just have fun, do something stupid, funny and unusual
- Take a moment to gather your thoughts, and share with your partner what they mean to you
- Go play tennis or cook together
There are a million ways to love one another. It is even better if we know how you partner like to be loved. To start gently and easily, I suggest using the 5 Languages of Love: Words of Affirmation; Acts of Service; Receiving Gifts; Quality Time and Physical Touch. You can find an online test to know yours and I suggest to ask your partner to do the same. I have also touched on that in a previous article: 6 Keys to Bring Your Love Relationship to the Next Level! (one of the last keys, in the A functional couple, is a generous couple). A simple testimonial from my own relationship: My wife and I are the opposite of the languages of love. If we couldn’t know that, our intentions would be turned into wrong actions. I would never buy gifts as it is the last for me when it is the first language for her. I never thought of myself as a good gift giver, it is something I do not understand well, nor I appreciate. Gift givers are gift lovers. But I learned how to bring gifts to her, what she likes, and how to surprise her. It is not the value of it as well, it is the intent that matters.
Thank you for your time and reading my post.
Enjoyed your read today? Share, like and join our Facebook Page to get the latest blog posts!