In this article, I wanted to share the recent video from The School of Life that I find both empowering, and humbling. The video is: How to Stop Being A People Pleaser (link below).

A people pleaser is someone moulding himself to the expectations of others. A people pleaser is choosing appreciation over respect or a lie over honest.

To understand why so many of us are people pleasers, we need to go back to our childhood. As cliché as it sounds, we learn how to behave like a child, so it is often, the main reason behind our strengths and weaknesses. Some looking to please others have been in contact in their early years to someone lacking acceptance and forgiveness. In most case, a parent or tutor. But a sibling or other influential people in our lives could have pushed us to shape this way.


We could have been wrong by being who we are, or we could have craved the love of our mother but never had it. Whatever our story, we tried to make it complete by pleasing others.

The video suggests three keys to gain the needed awareness and motivation, to stop pleasing others:

  1. People around us are different from the one(s) we had to please as a child. (i.e., They don’t need to be pleased)
  2. We must acknowledge the harmful side effect which is lack of honesty. While they may mean well, honesty is rarely given
  3. Last, as we grew up, we learned the skills to nuance our messages, and we have more tools to communicate effectively with others.

I hope that brief overview will interest you enough, so you take a moment to view that quick video (5 minutes). School of Life creates high quality, wise and free content about Emotional Intelligence, and their wisdom is limitless. Enjoy 🙂

Thank you for your time and reading my post.

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