5059176446_41a1e88c67_bStarting next Wednesday, I will be attending a 5 days self-development training around the topic of Choice and I will get married the week after that.

This means a few things! I will have a lot of personal experiences to share with you from possibly both of these important life events. At the same time, it may also mean that I won’t be able to publish for the next 2 weeks. I will make sure to take notes or make drafts of articles so I will be able to share my journey with all of you!

 

 

Choice Training

I will be travelling to the Netherlands, the training will happen from the 7th to 11th of December. It is delivered by the Olde Vechte Foundation and if you are interested in details around this training, you can find them HERE.

“Choice is all about self-awareness and self-discovery. It is a place where you will be challenged to explore your limits and expand your comfort zone.”

I discovered these kind of training courses through my Fiancée, she has been participating in roughly 50 of them as a participant or team member. It was life changing in many ways for her and in a good way as well. Many people who went to this training claim it was the best week of their life!

I think that for me Choice comes at a right time. My growth and the work on myself are happening for quite a while now but I tend to stay in my comfort zone or stretch it a little. Choice will challenges me where I need it, Choice will be confronting and it will make me move forward.

As an initial engagement, they asked participants to fill a questionnaire to prepare the training. The questionnaire will show our commitment as well as give the trainer some valuable information about what we are looking for within the experience. It seems that this training is very organic, it consists of  group processes or activities shared with up to 20-30 individuals who are taking part in the training.

While filling out the questioner (just to give you a sneak-peak into it) here are a few things I’ve touched on:

Q: Pleasuring activities and experiences I would like to do more (they aren’t in any order of importance):

A:

  •  Stretching
  • Meditation
  • Time with my fiancée
  • Time for my family
  • Time for my friends
  • Reflecting
  • Playing

Stretching is a recent pleasure, as I’ve been dreading it all my young athlete life. But now, it is why I go to the gym at times, so I have an excuse to stretch afterwards! I particularly enjoy lower back and legs stretches. Makes me feel “light” and energised after a good 15 minutes of stretching.

14979169620_afb7c21af1_kMeditation, I’m just starting with it. I wanted to start for a while but I always found good excuses not to. For now, I’m meditating with my partner in the morning before work 1 to 3 times a week. We like to use calm guided meditation (the free ones), particularly Loving Kindness and Forgiveness. Extra tips, if you have an issue napping, just launch a body scan ! Makes both of us sleep like babies! 🙂

Time with my Fiancée: we spend most of time we have in common together already. We want this time to be of quality. We want to keep developing our connection, discovering each other more and making many more deposits into our emotional bank account! Strengthening our relationship is very valuable to us.

Time with my Family: Being an expat and living abroad isn’t helping but I often use that as an excuse to not stay in touch regularly. I need to be more willing and consistent here!

Reflecting: This blog is part of it and it has proven very useful in that sense already! Sharing my thoughts with others forces me to reflect deeper and longer, and to make some researches too!

Playing: I am a gamer at heart and a Blizzard gamer! I’m into World of Warcraft and Hearthstone. I play Clash of Clan too (Supercell) and would like to return to play Diablo 3 during Season a tiny bit too. I tend to think more about my time I spend in these games and try to spend it when it is meaningful instead of just keeping myself busy with stuff.

Another part of the questionnaire went like this Q: what I would like to achieve through the Choice training:

A:

  • Being challenged on things I struggle with so I can overcome them
  • Dig deep and see what is going out
  • Better myself
  • Work on re-connecting to my emotions
  • Increase self-awareness on my patterns or issues

I’ve set these broad as I am not too sure what to expect! But the focus is on “I”, as it always comes to ourselves in case of personal growth. Besides that I know that we will go through processes and activities as a group, I know they may be very challenging too.

Choices are connected to Principles… and these are mine!

This part of the blog wasn’t planned but I found the quote below and kept thinking and writing so I’d like to share it with you!

“There are three constants in life… change, choice and principles.” – Stephen R. Covey

I randomly found this quote for this article, I appreciate greatly Stephen R. Covey’s work as you may have read already but it is also fitting well here. I will make choices based on my principles that will bring changes into my life!

I didn’t spent much time refining my principles for the last 12 years or so, as weird as it may sound, I defined most of mine when I was a teenager. Some of them changed, some of them evolved, some of them have a different meaning nowadays but the core is the same!

These values or principles were quite simple in fact:

  • Trust is the foundation of any relationship
  • I am as Honest as I can be
  • I am not afraid of my emotions
  • I Love and Love matters to me

I believe that was it, I would say that I was not capable to live to these at the time and I have still a long way to go to be able to say I am applying them as much as I want to in my life.

I value Trust immensely. I am a Genuine and Trusting person by nature, I could even be considered as Naive. I have little reasons to lie to others and it makes people be genuine and honest in return for the majority of occasion.

I value Honesty but this one is more challenging to me and it can damage trust. I want to avoid conflict more than handling it headbutt. I am working on my assertiveness for a few months now and it is helping me but at times, I find myself people pleasing or being unwilling to clash with someone as “I don’t have a strong feeling about the situation”.

For a long time I thought that Emotions should drive my life, you know like in the movies or books. I still care a lot about emotions and I have understood that having a “Romantic” view on Life and Love isn’t the sanest option nor the one that will make me happy. Actually thinking about it, it was quite damaging or at least limiting. I have been giving myself a hard time for not knowing what my passion is and according to others, I had at least a few! Writing, Gaming, Skiing and Sports to a larger extend, Learning, People and possibly a few more. The lack of “passion” is that in my head: but I think it should be something I feel strongly inside, like it should drive my actions without me putting the effort, it should make me dream at night, it should,every morning,make me burn from desire to do it. Writing this reminds me of a Ted Talk I like very much to. I will not summarise it this time so I suggest you give it a shot if you feel the same! It is called: Stop Search For Your Passion by Terri Trespicio at TEDxKC.

Lastly Love! Interesting time to talk about it after the last two articles about my journey through Doubts and Gratitude as well as being 14 days ahead of my wedding. 🙂 I considered Love being only an emotion for many years. If you follow me, you know I don’t believe that anymore. Love, like anything else, is a Choice. It is less romantic but that doesn’t remove the romance, it is making it only part of it instead of everything. Just loving someone and hoping for it to last for a life time is pretty desperate after all.  Understanding Love as a Choice, as something we do, is a lot healthier alternative: caring for someone, the little daily attentions, the cuddles and huggies, choosing to do that every time, being there when it is hard, holding space, listening truly, being available as well as receptive and much more. Love is a two-way street, we need to give and receive it! Love for myself and others is growing lately and I have to say that it feels good!

I believe this “short” explanation of the coming weeks turned out to be a real article after a few hours and 1.7k words later. I wish you the best and I appreciate you take the time to read me for the first time or again!

My partner went out dancing, and I need to share my gratitude for tonight so you have been selected to listen! 😀

I am grateful for my dad for caring and helping in organising the restaurant for the wedding day

I am grateful for both families to make the effort to be present for our “big day”

I am grateful to my colleagues and friends who asked about the wedding and are showing interest and care

I am grateful for my partner for taking care of herself and making her life enjoyable

I am grateful to be inspired and be able to write these posts

I am grateful to my peers from our last training at work who discovered my blog and shared praises

I am grateful for my Fiancée’s boss for her help and support, for finding the wedding dress and other accessories for my fiancee

 

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