You might have heard the famous: “Ask, and you shall receive“. When it comes to asking yourself questions, you can hardly be wrong with that quote. And it’s true; we find answers to whatever we ask. If we ask ourselves stupid questions, we will get stupid answers. This article will help you ask yourself empowering questions about your relationship. So you can make it thrive and grow!
There is an interesting situation you might have found yourself itself, the so-called: self-fulfilling prophecy. We’ve all been there in our life, you and me. You might have started to doubt something, and as it turned out, you were right. That partner who wasn’t the one for you, or that job you left? It wasn’t for you either. An interesting point of view to consider is that, was it really not for you? Or did you focus on why it is not for you? Instead of searching for why it is actually for you.
While at times it is true that these should have persons or events been left behind in your life, on many occasions you are making poor decisions because you had the wrong focus. So many of us look at the negative aspects of anything we do, and there is a simple reason for that: pain. You remember what is linked to emotions you felt, so it is easy to remember moments of pain.
“If you question anything enough, you’ll being to doubt it”
Going back to the initial quotes and today’s topic, it is clear that questions are controlling your life. As we just saw, they are what you focus on, and in many ways, they make you feel how you feel. I wrote a few days ago about the importance of feeling a wide variety of emotions and positive ones, you can find it here.
Your brain is resolving problems for you. As humans, to know which issues to fix, we ask ourselves questions. Directly or indirectly. Consciously or unconsciously.
Before we go into the empowering questions, let’s look at some that will create any trouble with your loved one:
- Is that the right person?
- How could he/she hurt me so much?
- Why isn’t sex great anymore?
- How did we get there?
- Do I really love that person?
- What if someone else is better for me?
- How can he/she always do this to me?
- Why don’t you appreciate me?
If you have found the love of your life, you know the person inside out, and they are your soul mate, then you might not want to ask yourselves these questions. The truth is that we all do, again indirectly, or directly; consciously or unconsciously. The
These questions will bring pain, associate it with your partner and slowly push you away from them. It will erode your relationship, slowly, but surely. I’ll share the quote again, as you will see very clearly why it is relevant in that article:
“If you question anything enough, you’ll start to doubt it.”
Let’s move to the empowering questions! After all, it is why you came here in the first place!
- What do I love the most about my partner?
- How can we make our time together more meaningful?
- How can we bring back more fun in our sex life?
- How much richer will our lives be as a result of a relationship?
- How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?
- How can we resolve that fight while also creating closeness and creating more love?
- What actions can I do today to show care?
- How can I can I let him/her closer?
- I got hurt, but how can I get over it with creating a loving story for our relationship?
- How can I express my needs in a respectful, honest and open way, so he/she has a chance to meet them?
Something to note, there is NOT negative wording in these questions! 🙂
So what do you think? Do you see these questions being supportive in hard times? I’ve been paying attention myself to my inner self-talk about my wife and the better I am at avoiding these disempowering questions, the better stories I am building about our relationships. If you go one way (empowering) or the other one (disempowering) for the next 1, 5 or 25 years in your relationship, it will change your day to day, your trust, your intimacy and your overall happiness. Ask yourself wisely! Be happy in your relationship!
Thank you for your time and for reading this post.
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